Our 2nd Amendment Rights are being taken away!

The worst fear of gun owners over Red Flag laws has already happened!

And it happened a year ago, but nobody seems to be talking about that incident.


It happened in November of 2018 in Maryland. The police, following the law and their orders went to the home of a man to remove his guns because someone said he was a danger to himself or others. The man didn’t want to give up his guns and resisted. He had a gun, him and an officer, struggled over the gun and it went off. The second officer shot and killed the man to defend himself and his partner. I don’t blame the police completely as they were doing their job. However, a lot of people throughout history have died because someone was just doing their job or just following orders. I guess we do not train our police officers to be independent thinkers because they may decide not to do what they are told. I do however completely blame the unconstitutional law that forced this to happen. So, to recap, at least one person in this country has already died resisting an illegal Red Flag law. Yet, all I keep hearing is how we need Red Flag laws in each state. According to the liberals, these so-called common-sense gun laws will save so many lives and not hurt anybody. The following is the news story about the previously mentioned incident, from CBS 13 Baltimore.

FERNADALE, Md. (WJZ) — A 61-year-old man is dead after he was shot by an officer trying to enforce Maryland’s new ‘red flag’ law in Ferndale Monday morning. Anne Arundel County Police confirmed the police-involved shooting happened in the 100 block of Linwood Avenue around 5:17 a.m. According to police, two officers serving a new Extreme Risk Protective Order (Red Flag Law), a Maryland protective order to remove guns from a household, shot and killed the man listed on that order. “Under the law, family, police, mental health professionals can all ask for the protective orders to remove weapons,” said Sgt. Jacklyn David, with Anne Arundel County Police. That man was identified as Gary J. Willis of same address. Officials said Willis answered the door while holding a handgun. Willis then placed the gun next to the door. When officers began to serve him the order, Willis became irate and grabbed his gun. One of the officers tried to take the gun from Willis, but instead Willis fired the gun. The second officer fired striking Willis. He died at the scene. https://baltimore.cbslocal.com/2018/11/05/fatal-officer-involved-shooting-in-anne-arundel-county/

So, I guess we can conclude that some people may die during the enforcement of the new unconstitutional Red Flag gun laws. I wonder if all the Liberals in this country truly believe that Americans will just answer their doors and say, “come on in and take whatever you want cause you say I don’t need it and/or should not have it”. I think what you will see is something completely different. I believe that if you are planning on enforcing these laws the local, state and federal governments should stock up on body bags and that is not a threat. I believe that most Americans will not just give up their property or their rights because you say we should. I love a specific Ben Franklin quote” Those who would give up essential Liberty, to purchase a little temporary Safety, deserve neither Liberty nor Safety”. OMG, I bet you could make a liberal’s head explode trying to understand why American citizens would feel this way or refuse to just give up their rights. It would look like a scene out of the movie, Scanners. I’m probably dating myself with that reference.

We all here these politicians, celebrities and so-called activists say that if you pass a law banning firearms there will be no more gun violence. I can only assume that these people are just naive and not stupid. If those type of laws are passed, then only the people who obey the laws will not have guns. I think we can all agree that criminals do not follow the law. I can also only guess that they know nothing about history. In 1938 Hitler passed a law banning the sale and ownership of gun by Jews and minorities and then he slaughtered around 11 million of them and they had no way to fight back. No way to defend themselves. It is true that those who do not remember history are bound to repeat it, unfortunately. Then you here well that can’t happen here. Sure, it can if law abiding citizens have no way to defend themselves against a tyrannical government.

I find it funny that these so-called anti-gun activists keep pointing out how other countries don’t have the problems we have because they banned guns, etc. Yet, Switzerland has the highest rate of gun ownership in Europe and almost the lowest crime rate in the world. Their gun ownership is 45.7 guns per 100 legal residents. Now I should point out that when you apply to buy a gun you must first pass a violent crime regulations test and a gun safety and handling tutorial, but only once not every time you buy a firearm and I don’t have a problem with that. I had to take a course to carry concealed in the Commonwealth of Virginia. Hell, for matter of fact I had to learn that in school, literally. In high school during P.E. Class every year we had 3 days of instruction. The State Police and Forest rangers would come in and teach classes all day about hunting safety, gun safety, and proper handling of a firearm while entering and exiting your hunting area. Maybe if we still did this, we could cut down on some of these shooting issues. Especially the accidental shootings.

Hell, it should be perfect to these parents nowadays as they expect the teachers and government to raise and educate their kids, since they don’t have the time or inclination to raise, teach and punish their children on their own accord. Uh-Oh I said punish. Maybe, just maybe if these people had to take a test to see if they were going to be fit parents before they could have children, we could cut down on a lot of these problems also. If they would pay more attention to their children then their purchasing of products or hell even as much attention as they due to keeping up with the Jones, their kids might feel loved and not alone in this world.

The founding fathers or framers of the Constitution of the United States of America knew what they were doing when they wrote the Bill of Rights. The wanted Americans to be able to protect themselves from both invaders and a tyrannical government because that is what they had fled when they left England under the rule of a King. Where you have no real rights of which to speak. As Thomas Jefferson once wrote” What country ever existed a century and a half without a rebellion? And what country can preserve its liberties if their rulers are not warned from time to time that their people preserve the spirit of resistance? Let them take arms. Jefferson went on to say” The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants. It is it’s natural manure”.

Now I would never tell somebody how they should live or react to something. That is between them and God. I am not trying to start a rebellion. I can only say how I would react to people showing up at my door to forcibly take my property, especially my guns and my rights guaranteed to me by the constitution. Again, I cannot and will not tell others how to act or react to any situation but make no doubt about it they are going to come for your guns and then they can take everything else with no resistance. Because how do you stand up to a government if they are the only ones wielding guns. That is nothing but a slaughter waiting to happen. Now my county in the Commonwealth has made the decision to be a sanctuary county for the 2nd amendment. I am very proud to see they understand both the constitution and the will of the residents that live here. In the end what it comes down to is the next election. If you want to keep your rights than study each candidate and cast your vote accordingly. This is after all the only true power we have.

Thanks for reading

Blane


More to come.

Hello to my readers, I just wanted to let you know that I have arthrtisis in my hands which limits my typing on and off. So please don’t quit me, a new post is coming soon.

Thank You

Blane

Legalize Marijuana in Virginia

close up photo of kush on glass container
Photo by Yash Lucid on Pexels.com

How the Repulican Party killed legalizing marijuana in Virginia.

Since January 16th, 2019 it is come to my attention that the delegates in the Commonwealth of Virginia do not care about the people that they are supposed to serve and vote on behalf of and to their benefit. I say since the 16th because the delegates of subcommittee 1 of the House of Justice Committee ruled to currently pass by indefinitely, which means to throw out and never bring back up for voting on 4 different bills that would have legalized marijuana. Now I find it ridiculous that 8 people can make a decision that can affect over 8 million Virginias.

Sounds a lot like the executives of a monopoly deciding to make changes that would hurt millions of Americans, except we could prosecute them under anti-trust laws. Maybe we should be allowed to sue and prosecute our Delegates and representatives in general when they vote against what most of the public they serve want.

Bills, HB2370, HB2079, HB2371 and HB2373 that would have made marijuana legal in the Commonwealth of Virginia were cut down by the Republican party just for spite a far as I can tell. The vote was straight across party line. One week after a Democratic Governor, Ralph Northam, called for decriminalization of marijuana in Virginia the 5 Republicans of the subcommittee 1 voted to kill the bills while the 3 Democrats voted to keep the bill alive and move them along their way towards becoming law.  As a registered Republican I can say those 5 Republican delegates did not vote for me or in a way the will improve my life.

Two Bills put forth by Delegate Steve Heretick, 1 by Del- Charniele Herring and 1 by Del.-Lee Carter, all Democratic Delegates, were voted down by the Republicans setting on the committee. I for one am tired of both the Republican and Democratic parties voting against each other just to be assholes instead of voting the way their constituents want them to vote. The polls show that the majority of Virginians are in favor of legalizing marijuana especially for medical use but also for recreational use for all those people over the age of 21.

In fact, polls by The Wall Street Journal, Gallop, and The Pew research Center show that Americans in general want the same things. A Pew poll shows that 62% of Americans support legalizing marijuana. Gallop shows that 66% wants to legalize marijuana and 94% of Americans believe the medical marijuana should be legal in every state and Commonwealth, as well as a Gallop poll that shows 53% of the Republican leadership in America support legalization. So, no matter how you put it for me you could say that this is how a Republican can learn to hate how the Republican party is serving it’s constituents and embrace the Democrats.

Or perhaps you prefer to ask questions like: How people in need of medical marijuana keep getting screwed over by the Republican party or How 5 people can make medical decisions for 1.7 million Virginians each without voting the way their district wants them to vote. I myself suffer from several medical issues that would benefit from the use of medical marijuana, but I guess I will just keep downing opioids one after the other, because that’s legal but not Marijuana, yeah that makes sense.

I think what we need to do is bombard the offices of the Delegates who voted these bills down with Emails, letters and phone calls to tell them exactly what the people of Virginia want and that if they will not vote the way we want we can and will remove them from office the next time they are up for election. In fact, here is the information for the delegates that need to change their voting to help instead of hurt Virginians by voting in favor of legalizing marijuana.

Gilbert, C. Todd (Chair) 15th E606 R (804) 698-1015 (540) 459-7550 DelTGilbert@house.virginia.gov
Bell, Robert B. 58th E311 R (804) 698-1058 (434) 245-8900 DelRBell@house.virginia.gov
Adams, Leslie R. (Les) 16th E205 R (804) 698-1016 (434) 432-1600 DelLAdams@house.virginia.gov
Collins, Christopher E. 29th E420 R (804) 698-1029 (540) 539-1724 DelCCollins@house.virginia.gov
Ransone, Margaret B. 99th E412 R (804) 698-1099 (804) 472-4181 DelMRansone@house.virginia.gov

 

These are the delegates who voted the correct way to follow what the voters in their districts want and not just to go against the other party for spite. I say we let these people know that they are doing a good job of voting in favor of helping Virginians.

 

Watts, Vivian E. 39th E203 D (804) 698-1039 (703) 978-2989 DelVWatts@house.virginia.gov
Herring, Charniele L. 46th E223 D (804) 698-1046 (703) 606-9705 DelCHerring@house.virginia.gov
Mullin, Michael P. 93rd E424 D (804) 698-1093 (757) 525-9526 delmmullin@house.virginia.gov

 

Also, let us not forget the Delegates who put forth these bills for voting and let’s tell them that we appreciate what they are doing on behalf of Virginians. Be sure to show them your support by voting them back into office the next time they are due for reelection no matter what party you are registered with. I am a Republican that will be voting in favor of these delegates when they need to be reelected to office.

Delegate Steve E. Heretick   (D) – House District 79

In-session address:

Mailing address:

  • 715 Loudoun Avenue
  • Portsmouth, Virginia 23707
  • (757) 397-9923

Delegate Lee J. Carter   (D) – House District 50

In-session address:

Mailing address:

  • O. Box 243
  • Manassas, Virginia 20108
  • (571) 261-8546

Delegate Charniele L. Herring   (D) – House District 46

In-session address:

Mailing address:

  • O. Box 11779
  • Alexandria, Virginia 22312
  • (703) 606-9705

I know there are thousands if not tens of thousands of medical patients in Virginia, not to mention other states where marijuana is still illegal, that can and need the benefits of marijuana. I can only hope that there are enough like-minded people out there who are willing to speak up and make a difference. I personally have faith that in the near future I will not have to keep Narcan on hand in case I overdose on opioids because I will be able to buy marijuana and get off the opioids completely.

Well as always I hope you enjoy my post. Some will like it, some will hate it, but all will have an opinion about it.

Thank You

Blane O’Dell

 

 

 

 

Make Marijuana Legal!!!!

Make Marijuana Legal!!!!

The Question: Why is Marijuana not legal in every state, especially for medical use?

Over the past 10 years or so, I have watched as state after state is legalizing Marijuana, also known as cannabis or pot. Hell, whole countries are making it legal. And then there is the United States. So, I must ask why not? Why is the U.S. government not making marijuana legal? This product can help with so many things, from the opioid crisis to cancer. Yes, I called it a product cause that’s what it is, just like every other drug or drug therapy used in the medical profession. It’s funny, not funny ha ha, but funny in the hypocrisy that radiation is legal, chemotherapy is legal, opioids are legal, but not marijuana. Does this make any sense to you the reader? I just can not wrap my head around the idea that it is legal to give people therapy that literally kills you a little with every use, but not a drug that I have never heard of it killing a person just by using it like marijuana.

Marijuana has been used for thousands of years for many purposes, from simply getting high to stopping pain. When you consider how many diseases marijuana can help with or fix, it makes no sense why I even need to ask the question. At my last count Marijuana was legal in 33 states and D.C. with 20 of the being legal only for medical use and a Gallop poll showed that legalization was supported by 64% of Americans of which a majority was Republican, surprisingly enough. Also, when you consider that 91 people die every day in the U.S. from opioid overdoses, I believe that if marijuana was prescribed or legal to buy that the number would go down across the U.S. Now consider that opioid prescriptions have quadrupled since 1999 it makes even less sense that marijuana is not legal across the country by federal law. It is true that fewer doctors are so quick to prescribe opioids as a first line of treatment for most diseases now due to education of the effects it was having on patients. The number of people becoming addicted and overdosing. Yet, the number of over doses and use of opioids keep rising. I have seen firsthand where people who were on opioids for pain due to a multitude of different issues have given up using opioids all together in favor of marijuana and are quite happy with the choice.

The effects have some similarities between opioids and marijuana, such as euphoria relaxation, decrease in pain. However, marijuana is no where near addictive as opioids nor are the side effects as bad as opioids and I am talking specifically about addiction and death by overdose. Have anyone that is familiar ever seen anyone smoke so much weed that they die, no as far as I can tell the average person will fall asleep way before that can happen. The positive effects of marijuana are pain reduction, suppression of nausea and vomiting, appetite stimulation and reduced pressure in the inner eye. These are just a few issues it can be used to treat. It has been successfully used in treating Cancer, chronic pain, all types of arthritis, Multiple sclerosis as well as glaucoma. It has also been used to treat depression, anxiety, insomnia, hypertension eczema and epilepsy. All these diseases have shown positive effects when treated with marijuana and done so without addiction. It has also been shown to less dangerous when used by drivers when compared to alcohol, however you should still not operate a car or any equipment other than maybe the remote control to the television when using marijuana.

The positive effects of marijuana have been known for thousands of years, just look at the charred remains found at a burial site in Romania that have been dated to the 3rd millennium B.C. Marijuana is also the most widely used illicit drug in the western hemisphere and has been for decades. Now consider that the murder rate in Denver dropped by 52% the first-year marijuana was legalized, and opioid overdoses are down by 25% across the board when averaged over all 33 states. I have also read that Doctors believe the legalizing marijuana will lead to a down turn in binge drinking and related deaths by college students. When you consider all of this, I can’t understand the issues the opponents have to making marijuana legal. It has shown mostly positive effects and I did not even go into the predicted 11 billion in tax revenue it would bring to the table. Colorado made 98 million the first year in taxes. Yes, it was less then predicted, but still yet it was 98 million dollars in taxes. Now understand that all of this should be considered my opinion and not fact, but you can just as easily find all this information with a search of Bing ©®or Google ©® and looking at sites such as the CDC, Gallop, or any of the news sites. But if you do not want to do that just remember that this is all my opinion. All I hope to do is make people ask the questions and look for the answers themselves. I hope this is exactly the type of Blog post that makes you do just that. Until next time, Goodbye and enjoy life.

The 2nd Amendment! Do people need extra capacity magazines, and other extras?

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I’m sure that my opinion on this subject is going to piss off some people. First let me say that I am pro 2nd Amendment. I am pro gun ownership without infringement by the government. I am a lifetime member of the NRA. I believe that every American of age has the right to keep and bear arms or arm and keep bears, lol. I prefer the first one. However, I do not believe that any person outside of the military has a need for extended capacity magazines, bump stocks or binary triggers. Now if you do not know what these are or how they work I am more than happy to explain.

A bump stock, as seen above, is a stock replacement on a rifle that allows a person to shoot faster by allowing the guns movement due to the recoil to move inside the stock moving the trigger to and away from the finger, in other words you pull the trigger and do not have to move you finger as the gun slides back and fourth into or on the stock to make the recoil push the trigger against your finger allowing faster shooting times or cyclic rate of fire.

A binary trigger, as seen above, is a replacement part for a gun that allows the gun to fire around on the backward and forward movement of the trigger after the first shot. The first shot is the normal pulling or squeezing of the trigger, but instead of the trigger resetting for a second shot at release to non-firing position, it allows the trigger to fire another round when your finger releases the trigger, so you get a shot with both movements of the trigger. So instead of squeeze, shoot, release, reset squeeze and shoot, you get squeeze shoot, release shoot, squeeze shoot, release shoot. In theory doubling the rate of fire.

Now as for extended magazine or extended capacity magazines they are exactly what they say in their own description. They allow the weapon to hold more rounds than is normal from the factory supplied magazines. In my humble opinion, if you learn how to shoot, you have no use for these. My dad would take me out from time to time to shoot cans with a .22 caliber revolver and with practice I learned how to shoot. He also told me to never touch his guns without him and of course I didn’t listen. He caught me and whipped the shit out of my ass. I never touched them again. If more people did this today, I truly believe we would not have some of the problems with shootings we have nowadays, sorry but I digress. The point is, if you know how to shoot instead of spray and pray like some gang banger in a drive by you have no need for these attachments or accessories. By the way, that is what they are, accessories, attachments and add-ons to guns.

Therefore, there is no reason we can not ban them. I hear these idiots saying they can’t ban those it goes against the 2nd Amendment. Fact is, no it does not. The 2nd Amendment protects your right to keep and bear arms, it does not give you the right to change those guns or the right to buy attachments, only guns. If all civilian weapons were limited to 10 rounds it would hurt nothing and might help save a few lives, not as many as could be saved by teach proper gun handling and shooting and parents teaching their kids the difference between right and wrong, but many as it would give sometime for people to act, whether it be to take down a gunman or run, during reloading. Just as an example I can shoot 10 rounds in the black drop and pop a clip and shoot another 10 rounds in the chest of a target at 50 feet fast enough that one guy in the range thought I was using an extended magazine. So, to me gun control does not mean taking away my guns it means hitting what I aim at when I decide to pull the trigger. If you need a bump stock and extended capacity magazine for a truly legitimate reason, I am more than willing to hear what that reason is and am open minded enough to make my own opinion based on the information, but understand this,

I do not believe cops need large capacity magazines either. I often wonder what reason they could have for needing these items in their work. Every time I see where there was a shoot out between cops and bad people, I have noticed that the cops shoot what seems to be 10 rounds to the bad guys 1 and still miss. This tells me they need better training to control themselves as well as to hit what they aim for when squeezing the trigger. Now a little more about me, when I was younger, I was an avid hunter and fisher. I got my first gun, a Marlin 30-30 lever action rifle when I was 15 to use for hunting. Our schools had a gun safety week during health class where State Police and Game Wardens or Forest Rangers would come and talk to the classes as well as going over proper ways to walk, climb over fences or even how to get into your tree stand safely with your gun alone or with a hunting partner. I do wonder why we stopped these teaching lessons? If you know, please tell me why in the comments. I am sure that lots of people both agree and disagree with me, but these are just my opinions, as I do not speak for another person or group, just for me. I am attaching links, so you may see how the bump stock and binary trigger work. By the way I encourage you to make your own decisions based on research. Do not blindly follow me because it is easier. Just pull up Google®️ or Bing®️ or what ever search engine you use and search for yourself. It only takes a little effort to be informed instead of ignorant. Thanks for reading. Something else to remember is this is only my opinion and opinions are like assholes, everybody has one and most people think they stink.

Links to videos of bump stock and Binary trigger:

https://www.nbcnews.com/video/see-how-bump-fire-stock-device-works-1063390787752?v=a

https://www.franklinarmory.com/products/binary-firing-system-gen-iii-trigger-pack

Mental Health

A while back I reposted or if you prefer shared a post that was put on Facebook (FB) about people and their ability to help or be blind to those with mental issues. They were talking about how just taking the time to talk to them can help, but I am here to say that if you do not really mean it, people will know and that’s just a sucky feeling. I would prefer that if you do not care that you just move on and leave me to my own problems. Be who you are, even if that is an asshole. After all it was Mahatma Gandhi who said:

‘It is better to be violent, if there is violence in our hearts, than to put on the cloak of nonviolence to cover impotence”. In other words, be true to who you are instead of faking being somebody you are not.

You see I have some mental issues that have made it hard for me to make any long-lasting connections, which is why even as a kid I prefered hanging out with older adults. This is not to say that I don’t like my friends and/or family, but that those deep emotional connections that people make with others tend to elude my grasp for the most part. I learned at a young age how to fake being like others. How to react in the correct way to things people said, or problems they shared with me. This is also why I hung out with people older than me a lot. This is not to say that I do or do not think that some things that happen to people are horrible or great, but it is to say that I cannot empathize with them. I cannot share that emotion with them. While faking it makes others feel better, for me it has made for a life that seems a lot longer and more difficult than it truly has been or needed to be.

Please understand that I do care in my own way. I know that my friends and or family are going to read this and think I am horrible or ungrateful for there love and caring, but that is not true. I just do not process things the same way. Now I have never shared this with many other people, as to not seem like a bad friend or family member. However, at some point in life you must accept who you are and what this life has done both to and for you. I have been very good at faking being what people needed me to be for them, however, from here on out, so that I may be happier, there will be no more pretending. Now, would people being more understanding of this help me, probably not. Would their wanting to talk to me about it improve either of our lives, no. So I do not need you to understand who I am or what I think or feel.

I do believe that if there was a deeper understanding of life itself within the human race, we would be better off. However I am going to leave it at that for now, cause if you knew how I really think or how my thought process worked. How or what the thoughts are that run through my mind, you would run in horror and think that I am a monster or at the least a terrible human being. You would also want to know how anybody could be thinking about doing those things to them selves or others. So if it seems like I do not care, just know that I do, but if you think I am not sharing my feelings with you, than you are correct. You see my crazy runs all the way to the bone.

Now I share my real life with you, not for your sympathy, if I wanted that I would look in the dictionary between shit and syphilis. I share this so that the next time you tell someone how great or horrific something that happened to you was and for a second, the look on their face is one of I do not care or I do not understand, before the correct facial expression is shown it may be a larger problem and you should not take it personally. Also before I stop this train of thought, if for some reason I just disappear for a few months, days or weeks and show back up like nothing happened, you do not want to know where I have been or what was going on in my head that made me go down the rabbit hole. Just know that it had nothing to do with you, but it was a process my mind had to go through to get me to the other side of something.

Usually, for me, it means that I was unable to keep from going down the rabbit hole to the darkest places in my soul and thoughts, but the fact that I showed back up is a good sign that I was able to crawl back out once again. It is hard to explain how it happens but imagine, if you can, the following. You are just walking down the street and all of a sudden something grabs you and pulls you down to the deepest part of an abandoned well and now you have to get past the fear and thoughts of death to climb back up and out of there, now if you can imagine that, then you might be able to imagine a little part of how I feel when it happens. Nobody tells you this, because on average we are ashamed that it happened to us and that it will happen again. Some of you will recognize this in yourself while others can’t and thank God never will and please know that no matter how much I want to, I will never be able to fully explain what caused it to happen, when it did.

However, one thing that I do see and hear that bothers me is other peoples opinions about this subject. I have many times heard people, people I like and respect say things that make no sense. I recently heard a person I worked with, who was talking about someone they knew that committed suicide, talk about how stupid he must have been. He went on for days about how stupid it was to commit suicide, that nothing was ever that bad and how it just cannot be possible to feel so low that you want to die. Most people don’t have a fucking clue how it feels or what it is like, hell we can’t explain to you either or what is causing it to happen most of the time. You have no idea wether they have a chemical imbalance or had a horrible childhood, by the way, I had a really good upbringing. My Mom made sure I never needed for anything even when she had to go without. Between my Mom and my Stepdad I never felt unloved or unwanted, so there goes your idea about me having a bad childhood and that is what has caused this. No. My Mom and Stepdad were great, my Dad was ok, my grand parents treated me like I was some kind of special diamond in the sky, as I am their only grandson on that side of the family.

You do not have a clue, nor does the medical system at large, know what has caused the process of creating a brain that wants to hurt itself, but you should actually be happy that it wants to turn the violence inward instead of outward towards others. Like I said I am not looking for your sympathy or your help, I would be happy if you just kept your fucking mouth shut about things you know nothing about. This is just how I feel, as I can’t and don’t want to speak for everyone. I thought you could use just a few things to think about before you speak.

P.S.

I’m sorry if this seems a little brash or harsh to you, or maybe I’m not.

Amends II

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Amends II

A new beginning

It’s funny, I am laying here at 3:35 in the a.m. writing this and thinking how funny this has been. Do not get me wrong, I am not saying the idea or process was funny ha-ha, but instead funny in the way that the unexpected happens. I started this little journey to rid myself of some baggage, make myself happier and hopefully give some others a chance to say what they thought about my why, how, when and where’s of my past actions. When I started writing the first post I thought I had done all I was going to do but realized while typing that I needed to apologize to three more people before I could consider my job done. It was not easy for me to say what I wanted without having to search for the words, even though I had gone over what I was going to say in my head prior to apologizing.

That is exactly what I did and things in my life have improved drastically. As it turns out there was a common theme or maybe I should say reaction from everyone that I made my amends with. Not one of them remembered things that I did being as bad as I did. So, it would seem that all those bad things I have carried with me were more about me than them. It was more about how I knew what I was doing or saying at the time was wrong. It was about saying I’m sorry and getting that weight off me. It has made a noticeable difference in me. Even before the last few people my wife noticed how much happier I was and how much tighter our connection had become.

I know how crazy or unlikely it sounds that just saying I’m sorry can make you feel so different, but that is what it has done for me. It has also allowed me to reconnect with some friends and family members that may or may not be blood but are an ingrained part of me and always will be. I should also note that not one of these people ever gave up on me, even when I abandoned them. They have shown me kindness and seem truly happy to be reconnected or to just know that my connection to them is stronger. I have gotten back a friend of the truest kind, a sister without whom I am incomplete. My connection to my wife and mom seem stronger and better to me than ever before. So, while it may not work for everyone, for me it has greatly improved my life.

P.S.

I should point out that I did not apologize to every person with whom I have been hurtful or mean in my life as some people deserve exactly what they get. This was about the ones that did not.

Until my next post, live, love and be happy with yourself or kiss my ass I am going to be happy either way.

Making Amends

Recently I realized that I was carrying a lot of baggage on my conscience. I would have these horrific nightmares about how I had ruined Peoples lives. I had no idea if it was true or just one of the voices in my head trying to get me to do something stupid to myself. However, I had some serious time on my hands to figure my problems with other people. No, that is wrong. It was not my problems with other people but instead how I had hurt some people along my life’s journey. I am not the kind of person that usually says he’s sorry.My philosophy has always been that if I said it I meant it at the time.

So with the help of Facebook I was able to reconnect with some of these people and apologize for any hurt I may have caused them. I still have a few to go, but I feel like a weight has been lifted off of my entire being. It is not important for them to accept my apology, although it is nice, but for me to make the effort to say how truly sorry I am. Now I still have a couple of people to apologize to and that is coming really fast, but I can only hope that it goes as well with the last 2 people as it has with the others that I have already spoken with.

You know I was raised in a time when men were suppose to be men. You take no shit, say exactly what was on your mind and to hell with other people’s feelings. You were never supposed to whine or cry, just suck it up buttercup and move along. I did it pretty well for these first 47 years, but I have seen how you can take someones ability to believe in themselves by saying the wrong thing or making somebody else feel like something you did was their fault or they caused it to happen.

I do not know if the last 2 will go as good as the first ones, but I can hope and know that I finally tried to do the right thing. I am also safe in the knowledge that saying your sorry does not make you less of a man, but more of a man and a better one. My wife even noticed the difference in me, She says that I seem happier and we are clicking better.  Well I have to go for now, but I will let you know how everything goes, oh and by the way connecting with the others to make my amends was great as I found out I still have friends who care.

 

Best Wishes for your futures

Blane O.

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